Asia Whiteacre

ONCE UPON A TIME.... The love child of Princess Buttercup and The Dread Pirate Roberts, Princess Asia Whiteacre was born in the mythical land of Torontoshire, Canada, where her first six weeks were full of peril and adventure: fire breathing lizards, rodents of unusual size, tap dancing Christmas trees, and a herd of yapping poodles. The Princess prevailed and journeyed in a flying ship to the lower land of California, where she was cherished and nurtured by the great old wizard, Billy Whiteacre, and the beautiful queen of the mermaids, who was unfortunately, born without a name. Billy was a magical musician who created a tantalizing musical environment for Princess Asia. One full of rock n' roll barbecues. "Oops, excuse my language!" And "your boyfriend's hot." "who are you talking about?" "The dude in the green shirt" "...thats my dad." And last but not least, ridiculous hairstyles. At some point in Asia's youth (historians have long since forgotten the actual dates), the Princess attended the academe known as the World Famous Hollywood High School, where she practiced performance and found inside herself an ability to make up musical things involving words and piano tinkles. Soon thereafter, Princess Asia, now known as Persuasia, met the six-fingered man, Sir Maxwell, who had cruelly killed the father of her best friend, Bucket. Later Maxwell and Bucket would battle violently, and for at least like 20 minutes, ending in a handshake and friendship, since, after all, Bucket is a cat, and never actually knew her father. And Mark Maxwell, who did not actually kill anybody, with one sneakered foot in fiction and one in techno pop wonderland, is a wickedly wise producer and songwriter. And Asia was all, "Hey Man, whatﾒs up?" and Mark was all "Not much dude. Just chillin'." And Asia was all, "Thatﾒs cool." The rest, my friends, is history. (LITERALLY though, look it up in your history books. It's there.)