Bizarre Christmas Incident Lyrics

Ho, ho, ho, play it grandpa

Yeah, play it, let's tell them a little story

About what happened this Christmas

Yeah, tell them, tell 'em 'bout Christmas

Christmas eve, I didn't get much sleep

I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney

Who could it be?

I'll tell you what it was

What happened then, Ben? Yeah, what happened?

Well, I went back to sleep

You went back to sleep? Back to sleep?

Shit tired man, went back to sleep

And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes

A whale of a corpe with a long white beard

Was dangling over the fire

Oh, Santa he's a big fat fuck

Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck

Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast

'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my assBen Folds - Bizarre Christmas Incident - http://motolyrics.com/ben-folds/bizarre-christmas-incident-lyrics.html

Hey, hey, hey

Okay grandpa, step up

Sing in this thing right here

Tell 'em what you saw

Tell 'em what you saw grandpa

I gotta tell you folks

He wasn't wearin' no clothes

He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil

From his back down to his toes

While I was talking to the cops outside

The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs

They hauled him away in a double wide

What a sad, sad way to die

Hey, hey, hey

Santa, he's a big, fat fuck

Went down the chimney, got his fat ass

Oh, honey call the lawyers fast

Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass