| 1 | Zombie Cheerleader Slumber Party Massacre lyrics |
| 2 | Cobra Constant Committee Bake Sale lyrics |
| 3 | Class Aptitude Test Results Are In, And It's Martyr Or Matador For Everybody! lyrics |
| 4 | Broken Records lyrics |
| 5 | And The Award For Best Post-Coital Hug Goes To... lyrics |
| 6 | Anybody Remember John Enis, Chair Of The Board Of Tourism For Bad Sex, Ont.? lyrics |
| 7 | A Vision After The Sermon: Jacob Wrestling With The Junior Boys Soccer Team lyrics |
| 8 | Dig Them Up And Try To Reason With Them lyrics |
| 9 | May Cruise Missile Diplomacy Keep Us Truthful, Good, And Mild lyrics |
| 10 | Pink Slip + 1:30% Resistance To Your Daughter's New Pony lyrics |
| 11 | The Starving Artist Weight-Loss Program Works... To Varying Degree... Somethetimes lyrics |
| 12 | What I Destroyed On My Summer Vacation lyrics |
| 13 | The Grand Preamble lyrics |