The Tragic Events of September Lyrics

are you there, Evelyn?
yes, course I am, I'm always here, Evelyn.
I'm frightened. It's that time of year again, isn't it Evelyn?
Yes, it is that time of year again, Evelyn.
tell me once more how it all happened, Evelyn?
Hush now. We don't talk about that because it makes us sad.
I won't be sad this time. I promise. Please?
Tell me again about the tragic events of september, Evelyn.

The year is 1985. St Ellos fire is at the top of the charts.
The wreckage of the titanic has just been found at the bottom of the atlantic ocean,
and on a small farm on the cansis callarando border,
the young mother is about to give birth.

the local doctor has predicted twins,
which gladdens the hearts of the woman and her husband,
who could certainly use the extra help around the farm.
but the birth does not go well.
the terrified father drives his screaming, hemeroging wife to the local clinic
a poorly funded facility housed in a timber and airstream trailer
the presiding physician is dr charlie von coup,
a local dentre maker of dubious training with eccentric religious beliefs.
the labour is long and painful, louisa novel, a menenite girl,
who had given up a promising career as a legal assistant,
to join her first and only love on a run down farm that was his only inheritance.
may her soul rest forever in peace.
she is pronounced dead by the doctor at 11:23 AM, on the 11th day of september, precisely 12 minutes after the birth of her twin daughters.
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the girls are parapagus, tripus, dibrakeus twins,
conjoined at the side and sharing between them:
3 legs, two arms, two hearts, three lungs and a single liver.
Without hesitating, doctor Von Coop places the infants on the operating table.
muttering biblical quotations of doubtful accuracy, the doctor leaves the trailer and returns with a gas powered chainsaw.
the noise is deafening in the small space as he starts the engine prepares for the gruesome operation.

at this very moment, sheriff wilbur owens notices the Nevilles' car parked outside
steps in to see if he could be of assistance. (what's goin' on in here?)
seeing the crazed doctor hovering above the newborns with the chainsaw about to collide with their innocent flesh, the valiant sheriff draws his pistol and fires.
As the bullet pierces his heart, he stumbles backwards.

Samuel Neville, a timid, nervous man, who wanted nothing more than a quiet country life and many children is still in a state of shock over the death of his young wife and the alarming physiology of his daughters, when he is struck in the neck by the chainsaw blade.
Killing him instantly.

distraught, the good sheriff takes the crying infants to his car.
He radios back to the station where it is arranged for the twins to be delivered to the bethany centre for developmentally disabled youth into peakock,
Sheriff Owens decides to deliver the twins to the bethany centre personally.
Less than an hour into the drive, an oncoming truck swerves and strikes the sheriff's car.
The sheriff is thrown into the winshield, knocking him unconscious.
He will die thirty minutes later from loss of blood.

meanwhile, the world has become a sea of feathers as the truck's cargo of live chickens, many of which are now seriously injured or dead spill into the road.
the small awkward man limps out of the truck's cab, and cautiously approaches the sheriff's vehicle.

the man's eyes focus on the twin girls, calmly looking up at him from the back seat.
Ignoring the dying sheriff, he takes them into his arms and sets them into the cab of the damaged vehicle.
He unhitches the trailer, climbs into the cab and continues down the highway.