Ratz Lyrics

This one goes out to
All the cuties in the quad
Walking kitty corner
With the itty bitty bod

Telescopin' out the window
Waxin' wise, while you walk
I stalk the fox box
To the party on lock

Security check
Soon my ID's inspected
In the elevator
Waiting to get wreck-ed

Open the door
Then get floored by the heat
You get passed a "J"
While they play Paul's Boutique

Get a plastic cup and ice
Unless you like it neat
All the girl's stand up
All the guys take seats

Smoke fills the air
You fill in Denise
On your major, on your minor
On the Middle East-a for sheeza

High plains drifter
This sorority sister
Let the belt loop lead you
To the liquor elixirs

Smellin better than a bubble gum
Scratch and sniff sticker
We lick, shoot suck
Then duck out even quicker

Mad dash to my crib
'Cause my roomie is a geek
He's playing galaxies
Makin' friends on Dantooine

So, I'm climbing up a tree
Beers clinging to my teeth
Miss the window ledge, hit the hedge
Land upon my keys. (Oh!)

(chrous)x2

(I am a dorm rat
That is the fact, Jack
Lookin' at insects
Playin with warm wax

Hittin on the honeys
At the vending machine
A one hitters, trade dinner
All you need's an ID)

Plaid pajama bottoms
Or plaid pleated skirts
Everything you girl's wear
Makes me stare at the dirt
MC Chris - Ratz - http://motolyrics.com/mc-chris/ratz-lyrics.html
If I had balls I'd flirt
With y'all in study hall
Do the geek talk 'til your
Eyes roll back into your skull

But I'm a FR33K
Spelled F-R-double Three-K
When you're walkin' my way
With my pockets I play

I can't say, "What's yer name?
Care to chat for a bit?
It's me Brian, that guy,
From that class, Russian Lit.?

Care to sit, have a chip
Care for some fun dip
Doystoyefsky doesn't impress me
What do you think of that shit?

But I don't, I just twitch
And I itch in my pants
Play my Gameboy Advance™
Until she's finally walked past

I mad dash to my crib
Where I get on my blog
Insearchofspock.com
Check it out if you want

That's the steam blowin' scene
Where I reign supreme
Webster's my friendster
I run the message board for Ween

It's a mental mall for teens
It's a paradise on earth
But in a way it's like a curse
Faster than a Google search

I just sit here and drink beer
While my roommate flirts
At some party, with some hottie
Who's all into Fred Durst

It makes my heart burst
And yet I do nothing
Just get on the web and
Start bitchin and frontin'

A dot com curmudgeon
Whose love life is sufferin'
It's the rope or the oven
Or the hope I find love in the end.

(chorus) x2

(I am lab rat
That is a sad fact
Shining my test tubes
Crying in restrooms

Dorm life blows
If you've got no place to go
I call my mother everyday
And say I wanna go home!)