Ricky Gervais Targets Kim Kardashian, Justin Bieber In Golden Globes Monologue

Ricky Gervais did exactly what the Hollywood Foreign Press Association hired him to do with his opening monologue at Sunday night's (January 15) Golden Globes. He left the audience having to choose between laughing and cringing.

Many of Hollywood's biggest stars left the opener unscathed, a bit of a change from last year's performance. Gervais still lived up to his reputation, however, and didn't shy away from his signature brutal comedy style.

Gervais opened his monologue with an appropriate question, considering how last year's awards went. "Where was I?" he asked. "Nervous? Don't be."

Despite all the talk of Gervais' sharp wit before the show, he aimed the majority of his opening jokes at both the Globes themselves and NBC, the network airing the awards. Right off the bat, he joked, "Tonight, you get Britain's biggest comedian, hosting the world's second-biggest award show on America's third-biggest network. Sorry, fourth."

That isn't to say that the celebrities were off the hook during the monologue. Gervais paid particular attention to Kim Kardashian, cracking two jokes at the recent divorcée's expense. "The Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton," Gervais said. "A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought."

Gervais also took the opportunity to address the controversy surrounding would-be Oscar host Eddie Murphy. "When the man who said yes to 'Norbit' says no to you, you know you're in trouble," Gervais said.

One joke about Kardashian wasn't enough for Gervais. He circled back around later in the monologue to poke fun at the length of her recent marriage. "Arnold and Maria. J. Lo and Marc Anthony," said Gervais, listing recent celebrity divorces. "Ashton and Demi, Kim Kardashian and some guy no one will ever remember. He wasn't around long. Seventy-two days — a marriage that lasted 72 days. I've sat through longer James Cameron speeches."

Unfortunately for the Beliebers watching the Globes, their boy Justin didn't stay out of Gervais' crosshairs. "Justin Bieber nearly had to take a paternity test. What a waste of a test that would have been!" he joked. "No, he's not the father. The only way that he could have impregnated a girl was if he borrowed one of Martha Stewart's old turkey basters. Open wide."

Gervais' third round of hosting came to many as a surprise after both he and the HFPA expressed uncertainty about the British funnyman's return. He joked that the organization warned him that if he offended anyone, they would invite him back to host again.