Baby Lyrics

Baby - Stephen Lynch

This is for my little girl

My lady gives birth today
I run to her room right away
She smiles with glee, and hands her to me
I look at my newborn and say

Damn that's an ugly baby
Damn that's an ugly ass baby
I'm feeling quite concerned
My semen must have turned
'Cause damn that's an ugly baby

This is just what I feared,
her head is misshapen and weird
she's skinny like a twig
at least her nuts are big
but her hair color doesn't match her beard

Damn that's an ugly baby
Goddamn that's an ugly ass baby!
I hear the doctor smackin,
said "Can't you put her back in?
Cause damn that's an ugly baby!"
Stephen Lynch - Baby - http://motolyrics.com/stephen-lynch/baby-lyrics.html
And when she smiles I find
Shane MacGowan comes to mind
It makes me want to cry
When I look into her good eye
I always wanted kids
Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
(crowd oohs disapprovingly)
Fuck you, it's my fucking baby!
(laugh)
Then the doctor calls me in
Mr. Lynch she has a twin

Damn that's a good-lookin' baby
One for two on the good lookin' babies
I almost start to weep
Now this one we can keep
cause that was an ugly ass...

Damn that's an ugly baby (x4)
She's got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
And thank god just one nose, but it's on her left thigh
The thought of changing that diaper each day
or wiping her ass with that tail in the way
I could get a good price on Ebay
Not me, I don't want no ugly baby!
I said damn that's an ugly baby
Damn that's an ugly baby...