The Gigolo Aunts

Many men have come from the asshole and not from the light. That is the story of the Gigolo Aunts, and tonight you shall hear this intriguing tale of how four men came from the womb to not only destroy emo music as we know it, but to also create a more subtle atmosphere of sound. It all began when Ryan Capelli, Griffin Dorcy, Sebastian Kayser, and Ross Kuehl were silmultaneously ejected from the wet, stinking, rotting, putrid asshole of Allah himself. Yes, this was how the four destroyers of emo came to be. Soon after they were born, they were knighted by the Queen of England herself and were highly respected in the United Kingdom as pimpin billionaires who cared about nothin but they bitches. No, it may not be how you presumed they began their lives, but it is indeed how Allah foresaw it all. Many years later, they decided to come to this rotting carcass of a coutry called the United States of America only after being ejected by spaceship from Istanbul. Today they come to play for you. Listen to the jizz, my friends, and think not of what you can do for your asshole, but what your asshole can do for you.