The Judas Factor

A helpless disconnect from ones surroundings and a sheer sense of desperation. A life experienced like one is watching a movie... everything is two dimensional. You can feel the emotions, experience the events but you can’t change the script. Abuse. Loneliness. Depression. Self Loathing. A lifetime of feeling awkward and alone. As the years pass you grow tired; tired of that damn pit in your stomach. Nothing feels right until you are at the brink of taking it all away. The power of that moment, where your life is in your hands and you can end it or continue with it… it brings a sense of control. It can be a turning point. Express what is going on in your head; in your heart. It isn’t always a pretty picture and it doesn’t always make sense; but then again neither does life. Now we write our movie; the characters and experiences become three dimensional even if only for small glimpses. Ballads in Blue China and Kiss Suicide are my stories; my life. A soundtrack of our lives in all of its stark contrasts.