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Frank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary lyrics
Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
 George duke (keyboards, vocals)
 Bruce fowler (trombone)
 Tom fowler (bass)
 Chester thompson (drums)
The adventures of greggery peccary!
 Oh, here comes greggery,
 Little grecgery peccary
 The nocturnal gregarious
 Wild swine
 A peccary
 Is a little pig
 With a white collar
 That usually hangs around
 Between texas and paraguay
 Sometimes ranging as far
 West as catalina
Catalina, catalina, catalina!
 This particular peccary
 Is part of that bold (bold),
 New (new) breed (breeding)
 That extinguishes itself
 By markings which resemble a
 Wide tie
 Directly below the
 White collar
 If it's white enough
 Everyone will know
 That the tie I'm wearing
 Is a symbol
 Of how nimble mv mind will know
 Ooh-ooh!
(swine suave!)
 Look out!
 Here he comes again!
 Oh here comes greggery peccary.
 Yes it's cravv, cravy, veah...
 Every morning, greggery drives
 His little red volkswagen to the ugly
 Part of town where they keep the government buildings.
 Voodn, voodn!
 Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!
 Greggery peccary takes the elevator
 Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
 Gray, evil-looking building
 With a sign on the front reading:
 'big swifty associates. trend-mongers'.
 And what, might you ask, is a trend monger? 
 Well, a trend monger is a person
 Who dreams up a trend
 (like 'the twist' --- or 'flower power'),
 And spreads it throughout the land,
 Using all the frightening little skills
 That science has made available!
 And so it was, one fateful morning,
 Greggery peccary made his way through the steno pool . . .
 Hi mildred!
 Hello gladys!
 Wanda!
 Yes, from the moment they laid
 Eyes on him,
 All the girls in the big swifty
 Steno pool
 Knew . . .
 Here was a
 Nocturnal,
 Gregarious
 Wild swine
 On his way up!
 A peccary of destiny,
 Adventure
 And
 Romance!
Is there any mail for me?
 Swifty's!
 This is big swifty's!
 At big swifty's we all know-ow-ow
 You'll go
 For any gimmick or gizmo!
 Wouldn't you rather be involved
 In a series of colorful
 Time-wastinc trends? 
Air hockey . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp
Is your wife snoring by the sink?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, youp youp youp youp
Ain't your life boring, don'tcha think?
 Youp youp youp youp youp youp youp
 Life is so much better
 When there's some little something
 To do!
 Does it matter that this waste of time
 Is what makes a life for you? hmmmmm? 
 I must plummet boldly
 Forward
 To my ultra-avant
 Laminated,
 Simulated
 Replica-mahogany desk,
 With the strategically-placed,
 Imported, very hip water pipe,
 And the latest edition of the
 Whole earth catalog,
 And rack my agile mind
 For a spectacular
 New trend,
 Thereby rejuvenating our limping
 Economy,
 And providing
 For bored & miserable people
 Everywhere
 Some great new
 'thing'
 To identify with.!
 We have got the little answers
 To the things
 That might' be bothering you!
 We have got your little toys!
 (we're busy makin' 'em!)
 Busy makin' 'em,
 We're busy makin' 'em,
 Busy makin' 'em
 Just for you!
 Yoo-hoo-hoo!
 Very efficient. miss snodgrass!
 And with that.
 Gregcery turned
 And strode nonchalantly
 Into his dinky little office
 With the desk and the catalog
 And the very hip water pipe.
 And proceeded,
 With a vigor and determination
 Known only to piglets
 Of a similarly diminutive
 Proportion,
 To single-handedly invent
 The calendar!
 With his eye rolled heaven-ward.
 And his little shiny pig-hoofs on the
 Desk, greggery ponders the
 Question of eternity (and fractional
 Divisions thereof), as mysterious
 Angelic voices sing to him from a
 Great distance, providing the
 Necessary clues for the construction of
 This thrilling new trend!
Sunday
 Sunday? 
 Wow!
 Sunday,
 'monday
Sunday,
 Saturday. . .tuesday through
 - monday'!
Saturday. . .
 And thus the calendar,
 In all of it's colorful disguisesFrank Zappa - The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary - http://motolyrics.com/frank-zappa/the-adventures-of-greggery-peccary-lyrics.html
 Was presented to
The bored & miserable people
 Everywhere!
 Gregcery issued a memo on it.
 Whereupon the entire contents
 Of the steno pool
 Identified with it strenuously,
 And worshipped it as a way of life,
 And took their little pills by it.
 And went back 'n forth from
 Work by it.
 And paid their rent by it,
 And before long they were even
 Having
 Birthday parties in the office
 By it,
 Because now. at last,
 Crecgery peccary's exciting new
 Invention
 Had made it possible
 For everyone
 To find out
 How old they were!
What hath God wrought?
 Unfortunately,
 There were some people
 Who simply did not wish to
 Know,
 And that's why,
 On his way home from the office
 One night,
 Greggery was attacked
 By a rage of hunchmen!
 Making his way through the
 Evening traffic, greggery notices
 That the other vehicles which
 Crowd and bump his little red car
 Are all inhabited by slowly-aging
 'very hip young people',
 They appear to be casting
 Sinister glances toward him
 Through their glinting acid burn-
 Out eyeballs, trying to run him
 Off the road, or make him bump into
 Something, giving strong evidence
 Of hostile aggression!
 To elude them, greggery takes the
 Short forest exit off the express-
 Way. they zoom after him in all
 Manner of cars. trucks,
 Garishly-painted buses, and
 Motorcycles.
 Greggery takes a bumpy trail
 Off the main short forest road,
 Which leads him up the side
 Of a famous (and convenientlv
 Placed) mountain, and into a strange
 Cave on the edge of a cliff, not far
 From a little twisted tree. . .with
 Eyes on it.
 Meanwhile, the enraged hunchmen
 (and hunch-'women) rumble
 Through the short forest until
 (realizing the little swine has
 Escaped, they decide to park their
 Steaming vehicles in a circular
 Pseudo-wagon train formation. . .
And have a love-in!
 Under the influence of a fantastic
 Amount of trendy chemical amusement
 Aid, they proceed to perform lewd
 Acts, rip each other off for small
 Personal possessions, and dance
 With depraved abandon in the vicinity
 Of a six-foot pile of transistor radios
 Each one tuned to a different station).
What?
 The hunchmen finally expire
 From exhaustion,
 And greggery,
 Who has viewed the proceedings
 From a safe distance,
 Breathes a sigh of relief. . .
 Phew!
 Only to be terrified once again
 By a roar of immense laughter. . .
Ho! ho! ho!
 Which seems to be rumbling up
 From the very depths of the cave
 In which he has hidden his car!
(good lord! what was that!? )
 Grecgery doesn't realize
 He has concealed himself
 Inside the very mouth of
 Billy the mountain!
Ho! ho! ho!
 And, as you all know,
 Whenever billy laughs,
 Rocks and boulders hack up,
 And the air for miles around
 Is filled with tons of dust,
 Forming a series of huge
 Brown clouds!
 Who is making those new brown clouds? 
 Who is making those clouds these days? 
 Ho is making those new brown clouds? 
 Better ask a philostopher 'n see what he says!
 Greggery stops at a gas station
 And makes a mysterious phone
 Is this the old loft
 With the paint peelin' off it
 By the chinese police
 Here the dogs roll by? 
 Is this here they keep
 The philostophers now,
 With the rugs & the dust,
 Where the books go to die? 
 How many yez got? 
 Say yez got quite a few,
 Just sittin' around there
 With nothin' to do? 
 Well I just called yez up
 'cause I wanted to see
 A pilostoper be of assistance
 To me!
 Gregcery receives information
 That
 'the greatest livin philostopher
 Knon to mankind'
 Is currently in possession of the
 Very information
 In question,
 And, furthermore, this information
 Could be his,
 If only greggery would attend a
 'special therapeutic group
 Assembly'
 (classes now forming),
 And available at a special
 Low introductory fee. . .
 And now, here he is,
 'the greatest living philosto-
 Pher known to mankind',
 Quentin robert denameland!
 Take it away!
 "folks,
 As vou can see for yourself.
 The way this clock over here
 Is behaving,
 Time is of affliction!
 Now this might be cause for alarm
 Among a portion of you, as,
 From a certain experience,
 I tend to proclaim:
 'the eons are closing'!"
Make your checks payable to
-25.8-
 'quentin robert denameland,
 Greatest livin philostopher
 Known to mankind'!
 Who is making those new brown clouds? 
 Who is making those clouds these days? 
 Who is making those new brown clouds? 
 If you ask a pilostopher, he'll see
 That you pays!









