The veteran rocker has been appointed as an agony uncle for health, sex and family issues by the famed magazine.
Asked in his first column, how to discuss the dangers of drugs with your kids, Ozzy replied: 'The only time I ever talked to my kids about drugs, it was to ask, 'Can you give me some?''
Dr. Ozzy also had some advice for Adam from Brooklyn, who complained his girlfriend is always too tired for sex.
'As I've always said to Sharon, there are 24 hours in a day, so it shouldn't be hard to make sure you spend at least one of them together,' he wrote.
'Go on a date. Have dinner together. Or put on a wig and false beard, check into a B&B and (bleep) the (bleep) out of each other, like you're having an affair. Maybe she just wants more excitement in her life.'