Spork Kills

“Madness! It can’t be true!” This was the headline in world news when it was announced that someone had finally found a way to fuse rap and rock without sucking. The year was 2004 & unsuspecting indie rap renegade, Louis Dorley née louis logic, was about to step foot into another routine overseas collaboration, this time with Copenhagen production syndicate Nobody Beats the Beats. As fate would have it, the engineer who was to record this magical session fell ill and was replaced by flamenco guitarist extraordinaire, Laust “Juelz” Jeppesen. It was a classic case of loathe at first site when the two discovered they shared the same disdain for the monotony of 1994 rap revivalists. Three hours and one run of the mill rap song later, plans for a secret summit were orchestrated to invent something the hip hop world hadn’t seen in years: The Next Cool. In attendance at this freak show power summit were Jeppesen, Dorley and former hitman turned teen idol, Rolf Sigurd Heat. The discussion began simply enough with the objective to shun all things reeking of regimented rapping and banal beat-smithing. In no time the ill fated trio had whipped up a helping of original, sample-free, live music smacking of an early Roots album outtake. It was then that they realized they must go further. Their travels took them into unfamiliar territory, hacking their way through the overgrown forest of 50’s and 60’s white music “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” style. At first, it was the ooze of sleazy lounge lizard jazz, which gave way to circus like waltzes and even histrionic Anglo spy scores. Then, born in the wake of a series of personal tragedies, sanctimonious late night speeches about reaching true potential and ice cold beers, the first Surf Rap song in the history of mankind materialized. Naturally, as was the case with man’s first walk on the moon, something so exciting could not simply be explored once. Or rather, it could, but this trio was determined, neigh, bent on reshaping the rap game into something silly enough to enjoy once again. So it was that in this the year of our lord 2008, Spork Kills would rise to fame as the Fathers of Surf Rap. Spork Kills “Beaches Love Us” EP coming November 2008 www.sporkkills.com myspace.com/sporkkills COOLER THAN COWBOYZ!!!