My Little Secret Lyrics

People think im tall, you probably do too,
Cause i got a big hat size and a 16 shoe.
As tall as a tree, but as wide as a twig,
To top it all off, my weener is a...tiny

It doesnt make any sense, its only 2 1/2
Whenever i'm naked even asians laugh (sry)
It'll be like nothing youve ever felt
Im the only guy who needs a condom belt...(what?)

Please dont be mean, please dont be a jerk
Ive tried all those pills trust me they dont work.
If girth was a virtue, I'd end up in hell,Bo Burnham - My Little Secret - http://motolyrics.com/bo-burnham/my-little-secret-lyrics.html
Right now I'm erect, and you can't even tell.

I hate myself, Why isnt it long?
Did my circumcision go horribly wrong?
When my girlfriend saw it she started to sob,
"I can only give you a finger-job"

I wanna be the stud, now i'm the stooge.
It wouldn't be wierd, if my balls weren't so huge.
I guess it would be great if i was hung like a horse,
But i gotta let nature take its course...

just kidding im huge.