Portree Kid Lyrics

The Portree Kid

Chappell Music Ltd

Arranged:TheCorries

Words: J W Hill ( Parody)

Music: Stan Jones

1. A man cam' riding oot the west one wild and stormy day

He was tail, quiet and hungry, his eyes were smokey grey

He was lean across the hurdies, but his shouders they were big

The terror o' the hielan' glens that was the Portree Kid

Chorus:

He drum ho he drum hey

The teuchter that cam' frae Skye

2. His sidekick was an orra' man, and oh but he was mean

He was ca'ad the Midnight Ploughboy, and he cam' frae Aberdeen

He had twenty seven notches on his cromack so they say

And he killed a million indians, way up in Stornoway

3. Portree booted in the door, he sauntered tae the bar

He poured a shot o' Crabbies, he shouted Slainte Mhath (Slangevar)

While Midnight was being chatted up by a bar room girl called Pam

Who said 'Well how-dy stranger, wad' ye buy's a Babycham'

4. Now over in the corner sat three men frae Auchtertool

They were playing games for money, in a snakes and ladder school

The fourth man was a southerner who'd come up from Macmerry

He'd been a river gambler on the Ballachulish Ferry

Chorus

4. Portree walked tae the table and he shouted 'Shake me in'

He shoogled on the eggcup, he gave the dice a spin

He threw seven sixes in a row and the game was nearly done
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But then he landed on a snake, and finished on square one

5. The game was nearly over and Portree was doing fine

He'd landed on a ladder, he was up to forty nine

He only had but one to go and the other man was beat

But the gambler cowped the board over, and shouted 'You're a cheat'

7. Men dived behind the rubber plants, to try and save their skins

The accordionist stopped playing, his sidekick dropped the spoons

He says 'I think its funny, you've been up that ladder twice

And ye ayeways dunt the table, when I go tae throw my dice'

Chorus

8. The gambler drew his Skian Dubh (Skeandoo), as fast as lightning speed

Portree grabbed a screwtop, he cracked him o'er the heid

Then he gave him laldy, wi' a salmon off the wall

And he finished off the business wi' his lucky grousefoot's claw

9. Portree walked up tae the bar, he says 'I'll hae a half

And d'ye like the way I stuck it on that wee Macmerry nyaff

But the southerner crept up behind. his features wracked wi' pain

And he gubbed him wi' an ashtray, made oot o' a curling stane

10. The fight went raging on all night till opening time next day

Wi' a break for soup and stovies aff a coronation tray

It was getting kind o' obvious. that neither man would win

When came the shout that stopped it all 'There's a bus trip coming in'

Chorus

11. They sing this song in Galashiels and up by Peterheid

Way down o'er the border. across the Rio Tweed

About what became o Portree, Midnight and the Gambling Man

They opened up a gift shop. selling fresh air in a can

Chorus