Indoor Games Lyrics

Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff

Dusting plastic garlic plants

They snigger in the draught

When you ride through the parlour

Wearing nothing but your armour-

Playing Indoor Games.

One string puppet shows amuse

Your sycophantic friends

Who cheer your rancid recipes

In fear they might offend,

Whilst you loaf on your sofa

Sporting falsies and a toga-

Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games.

Your mean teetotum spins arouse your seventh wife

Who pats her sixty little skins
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And reinsures your life,

Whilst you sulk in your sauna

'Cos you lost your jigsaw corner-

Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games.

Each afternoon you train baboons to sing

Or swim in purple perspex water wings.

Come Saturday jump hopper, chelsea brigade,

High bender-trender it's all Indoor Games.

No ball bagatelle incites

Your children to conspire,

They slide across your frying pan

And fertilize your fire;

Still you and Jones go madder

Broken bones-broken ladder-

Hey Ho .