Miss Baltimore Crabs Lyrics

VELMA

Front step

Cha cha cha

Back step

Cha cha cha

Side step

Front step

Back

And turn

TRACY

Oh my God Penny there's Link! Link.

I can't believe I'm really here auditioning

PENNY

I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition

VELMA

Front step

Cha

Back step

Cha

Side step

Front step

Back

And Oh Amber look at this motley crew

Oh this town has certainly gone down hill since I was crowned miss

AMBER

Oh mother no more ancient history

VELMA

Oh my God how times have changed

These girls must be blind or completely deranged

But times seem to halt when I was miss Baltimore crabs

Amber! That move is far too dirty

AMBER

Mother wake up from that dream of yours

This isn't 1930

VELMA

You can laugh but life's a test

Don't do this don't do that

Remember mother knows best

And the crowns in the vault

From when I won Miss Baltimore crabs

AMBER

These steps are perfect ammunition

VELMA

Let me show you how your mommy dear took out the competition

Girls go get them

Boys let rumba

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Those poor runner ups might still hold some grudges

They padded their cups

But I screwed the judges

Those brawds thought they'd win

If a plate they would spin in there dance

Ah not a chance

Boys put me down

Oh good morning ladies

Let's see what you got

ENSEMBLE

Twist twist twist twist

Mashed potato Hairspray - Miss Baltimore Crabs - http://motolyrics.com/hairspray/miss-baltimore-crabs-lyrics.html

Mambo

VELMA

Ready begin

On my show you'll never find

A thrusting hip or bump and grind

AMBER

What's that a dance for flees and ticks

VELMA

Oh you should have seen my bag of tricks

Oh I hit the stage batons ablaze

While belting aita and preparing soufflés

But that triple somersault is how I clinched miss Baltimore crabs

Proceed

LOUANN

Are you scared we're on live?

TRACY

No I'm sure I can cope

ENSEMBLE

Well this show isn't broadcasted... cinemascope!

VELMA

I never drank one chocolate malt

No deserts for Miss Baltimore crabs

AMBER

This one will never get a date in those hand me down clothes

VELMA

Ha! Kid she'll never get a date until daddy buys her a new nose

I would say Oy gavault if I wasn't Miss Baltimore crabs

AMBER

Do you dance like you dress?

LINK

Amber there's no reason to be cruel

VELMA

Would you swim in an integrated pool?

TRACY

I sure would! I'm all for integration

It's the new frontier

VELMA

Not in Baltimore it isn't

And may I be frank

First impressions can be tough

And when I saw you I knew it

If your size weren't enough

Your last answer just blew it

And so my dear so short and stout

You'll never be in so we're kicking you out

With your form and your face

Ah it isn't your fault

You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore crabs

Ugh you may go

TRACY

Um thank you

PENNY

I think they secretly liked you

LIL INEZ

May I please audition?

VELMA

Ha of course not but you may bow and exalt

Because I am Miss Baltimore crabs