If Lyrics

the astral plane and to rematerialize into an inanamite object or another living

organism for that matter is entirely and absolutely impossible, however

if i was your tv i'd be like, look at me

if i was shooting star i be like shooooom (peace)

if i was a fat bitches thong i'd be like hell nah

if i was a hotties thong i'd be like ahh

if i was a cuss word i'd just be like, fuck

if i was a rock on the moon i'd be chillin like sup

if i was a butthole i'd just be an exit

if i was the DOC i'd be like "man this is bull shit"

if i was your tires on your car i'd be like (car noises)

if i was the bumper on your car i'd be like ahh fuck

if i was a balloon i'd be like (balloon losing air)

if i was Alyssia Milano i'd be fucking Joe Bruce

if i was a radio DJ i'd probably say, point 103

if i was a richie ass bitch i'd be like, um ok

if i was spin magazine i'd put a mirror on the cover and be like

fuck us and all our readers, even this mother fucker

if i was your mental stress i'd be catching up

if i was your headaches every now and then I'd be like thuuummmp

if i was your tounge i'd be hatin' your teeth i'd be like

ah why do you try to bite me every time we eat?

if i was a chair i'd be like sit here

and if i was kid rock i'd cut my feathered wolf hair

if i was your muffler i'd be like shhh quietly

if i was a price tag i'd be like you ain't buyin me

if i was a fresh DJ i'd be like (scratching record)

if i was jam master jay i'd be like(scratching record)

if i was a cheap clock radio i'd be like (radio static)

if i was barry white i'd be like what up ya'll

if i was a nipple in the cold i'd be like (spring noise)Icp - If - http://motolyrics.com/icp/if-lyrics.html

if i was your dead uncle i'd be like

if i was a rain drop i'd just be like (rain drop)

and i had an axe and your neck i might say Chop

[Chorus]

If i was if i was but i'll never be

(if i was if i was but i'll never be)

If i was if i was but i'll never be

(if i was if i was but i'll never be)

If i was if i was boy your killing me

(if i was if i was boy your killing me)

If i was if i was but i'll never be

(If i was if i was but i'll never be)

If i was a faygo at one of our shows

i'd fly through the air into an ocean of juggalo's

if i was Andre the giant this is how i would be manly

if i was father mc i'd be like yeah what happened

if i was a mirror i'd find another mirror

and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear

if i was a slider i'd slid out your but, i'd be floating in the toilet

looking at you like what?

if i was a pilot i'd be like air traffic control

if i was john denver i'd be like ahhhh

if i was a switch i'd be like flip me yoohoo

if i was a london cop car i'd be like (siren)

if i was chewbacca i'd get me a fresh ass ?face?

if i was vanilla ice i'd be like fuck yall i'm still paid

if i was a stop sign i'd just be like stop

if i was your wooden leg i'd still be giving you the hip hop

[Chorus 2x]

Icp If