Buy My Snake Oil Lyrics

I'm getting tired of being legendary and broke

And I'm too damn weird to hold no straight job

My checkbooks feeling unfulfilled

Being an old underground die-hard

Won't pay the kid's dental bills

My Dad sez I got to learn to compromise

So I figure now's about that time

Now that I've run out of things to say

That alone will make my music Pay

Buy my snake oil

I used to be so angry

I ain't getting any younger

Now I'm eager to please

C'mon and buy my snake oil

Till my well runs stinking dry

I'll be your Rondo Hatton

I'll be your Dwight Frye

Get mighty jealous watching

My old roommates getting signed

The world owes me a living

I want my taste of the pie

Woh-oh-oh

Buy my snake oil

Meet my new band: Tits Ass and Money

The most meaningless deliberately watered down music I have ever made

Sing about my self instead of what's going on

Company tells me how my records should sound

Do what my manager tells me to

Every inch a rocking dude

Random shuffling same old cards

Bring on the night, she done me wrong

I love my weenie and I love my car

Man it's such hell being a rock -n- roll star

I'll tour 'till you wish I'd go home

Moan about my life on the road

200 overdubs to sound sincere

From now on every album sleeve's

Just a great big picture of me

Buy my snake oil

Critics cheer how I've matured

Got top management behind me, man

Phone rings like never before:

"I grew up on your stuff, man

It means so much to me.

I can hear it jinglin' now

In commercials selling beer..."

I got wiggle girl videos

In heavy rotation

If I dye my skin white enough

I'll buy me the elephant man

Woh-oh-oh

Buy my snake oil

And remember you got what you pay for

And if that doesn't work

I've got another idea

Now that I've signed on the dotted line

I'll call my music alternative

Same word those lovely people used

To hype the Knack in 1980

Join the

College dollar emo-jangle

Spoiled white music for spoiled white people

Pat those slackers on the head

To stroke and profit off of their fears:Jello Biafra - Buy My Snake Oil - http://motolyrics.com/jello-biafra/buy-my-snake-oil-lyrics.html

"Yeah man, It's Okay

Feel sorry for yourself all day

Life sucks cause it ain't easy

Happiness should be handed to me..."

Buy my snake oil

Cleansed of vision and sense

I'll bet your bottom dollar

You'll let me get away with this

I'll be your pregnant junkie

Help you sell cigarettes

Or a lonely tortured muscle hunk

That no one understands

Punk without rebellion

We call it grunge for you

I'll dress just like Don Henley

And sing just like him too

Boohoo-hoo-hoo-hooo

Boohoo-hoo-hoo-hooo

Boohoo-hoo-hoo-hooo

Boohoo-hoo-hoo-hooo

(Repeat till Burger King espresso arrives)

Down by the stream where my baby left me

I stand in my flannel shirt looking confused

A voice in the bushes say, "You got that look,

I'm from Geffen records How'd you like a million bucks."

O woh ho Poor pitiful me

Born white in the worlds richest country

I can't have my way life is so depressing

Nothing's as important as me and my girl

And if that still doesn't work

I got another idea

Give in

Ride the punk nostalgia wave

For all it's worth

Recycle the name of my old band

For a big reunion tour

Sing all those hits from the "good ol' days"

'Bout how bad the good ol' days were

And the orthodox

Fundamentalist faction of the crowd

Will say "Hooray!"

How politically correct

He's quit trying different ideas at last

Obeying the same kind of stodgy rules

Punk used to rebel against

Buy my snake oil

This is all I've got to say

Unless this is your radio

Looks like you already have

Yeah, keep buying my snake oil

'Til my well runs stinking dry

I'll be your institution

Until the day I die

Who cares if inspirations gone

It's safe in this here stall

I'll give the fans just what they want

And nothing else at all

Woh-oh-oh

Buy my snake oil

Buy, Buy, Buy B-B-Buy-Buy

My snake oil

And remember

I did it all for the scene