We're going to just assume that when "X Factor" kicks off its boot camp episodes next week that Simon Cowell and the gang will introduce us to a galaxy of potential stars that we didn't get to meet during audition rounds. How else can you explain Thursday night's lackluster final audition episode, which was packed with the obligatory "no" montages, gimmicky tearjerkers and irritating shtick singer guaranteed to go nowhere?
Some of the highlights:
Hydrated and he knows it
On Wednesday night, we met bubbly 13-year-old Trevor Moran, who provided a cliffhanger when he appeared to pass out after a day of filming viral videos and getting geeked up for his audition. Some Gatorade and rest got the jacked teen juiced up again. Though it seemed at first like he didn't have it, his ultra-sassy cover of LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It" brought smiles to the judge's faces. Cowell wasn't sure the hip-thrusting was age-appropriate, but L.A. Reid said Moran rocked the house and Britney Spears called him "adorable."
First love, then Fallout
Owen Stuart, 16, confessed that he copped his first kiss before coming to audition and he's already written a concept album, Fallout, about his long-distance lady love, Tori. His Bieber-y take on B.o.B.'s "Airplanes," mixed pubescent vocals with passable rhyming on verses he wrote to honor his girl. Reid felt the love, giving props for Stuart's rapping skills, but Britney wasn't into it. Demi Lovato, though, bonded with the lovesick teen's lyrics, speculating that every girl in the audience was wishing her name was Tori. "Those lyrics were so romantic, yet you made it sound cool," she said.
Give a fat boy a chance
Minister Freddie Combs, 40, went with the sure-fire weeper "Wind Beneath My Wings," dedicating it to his wife, who stuck with him as he struggled to lose nearly 400 pounds to drop from his all-time high of 920 pounds. Reid said he was not speaking out of sympathy when he described Combs' voice as "heavenly." Cowell shared a vision of wheelchair-bound Combs reaching his full potential and promising to have his back if Combs dedicated himself to singing while standing on his feet next time.
Flower from concrete
Florida high school student Lauren Jauregui, 16, got hands waving in the air for her powerful take on Alicia Keys' ballad "If I Ain't Got You," bringing a tear to her burly concrete company-owner dad's eye in the process. "That, Lauren, is how you do it," Cowell said, with Reid calling it the "perfect" audition.
Broadway baby
Between the sparkles, the keyboard socks, the pigtails and spangly silver tie and vest, Jordyn Foley, 12, seemed primed to annoy. Cowell prayed she wasn't going to sing a song from "Annie," but, whaddya know? She tried her best to warble through the signature show's hit, "Tomorrow," and it was, well, pretty much what you'd expect: adorable, plucky, shouty and super hokey. Cowell was speechless for the first time when asked by Reid to react. Lovato liked the performance and said Foley shined on stage, a sentiment Britney and Reid seconded, seemingly unwilling to dis a pre-teen in front of all her friends and family. Even though he hates the song, Cowell said he liked Foley ... but it was a definite no. With the other three judges giving her a thumbs up, the glitter tween got a pass to boot camp, ensuring her one more tomorrow.
Lovato love notes
Demi Lovato continued her flirty ways in Greensboro, sending a lipstick-stained note to a male audience member celebrating his birthday. She also seemed way into Stuart, calling him "too cute," a description she also rained on glitter bomb Foley.
It's hard to believe we saw even one-third of the talent the judges found on the audition tour, but we'll find out what some of the other competitors look like next week when boot camp starts in Miami.
Who was your favorite contestant on Thursday's "X Factor"? Leave your comment below!