I Hate You Lyrics

It's not just that you're ugly

Though you rate high on the scale

But unlike other basic primates

You've devolved into the male

Whose witless tactless body

Now teeters here before me

With an English actor's lisp

A palette that's half cleft

Waving your wipe your arse degree

In third rate bigotry

With a Master's in speaking through your famous anus

You must love the taste of turds

You're always swallowing your own words

You're a feeble, flatulent toerag

Oh, to be a doctor and practice acupuncture on your eyes

Or a butcher with a cleaver making loin chops of your thighs

Or best of all, to run a restaurant and shaschlick your dick

But you wouldn't even make an entree

Cos you're such a little prick

Your face is like a jigsaw

That's been put together wrong

Mr Cohen should sit down

And write a sympathetic song

You're pigeon-toed, knock-kneed

Sparrow-chested, feather-brained

In conversation for hours

You keep people entertained

But usually when you're not around to hear it

Your life is just as dismal

As a free church Sunday missal

From the preface to the back

It's filled with utter crap

And I believe I have a right

To speak my mind and to react

People are terrified that you may reproduce

You're the only reason I'd ever argue for abortion

You've past the use by date

And you'll probably never mate

But I'd like to make just one small precaution

Just to hedge my bets

I'd like to whip you 'round the vet's

A little snip and tuck

You'd never feel the urge to fuck

Your nether parts would be as lame

As that dead lump of phelgm you call your brain

In a way, you and Nancy Reagan are the same

You're both fucking vegetables

You've as much to offer humanity

As the bubonic plague

As much to offer art

As a first year med school plague

You're a pustulant canker

That no cream can whisk away

You're the apple of my eye

That's turned rotten to the core

Will I never escape the long arm of a bore?

You know you never argue

Cos you know you're always right

You're only a pacifist

Cos you're too gutless to fight

And what is more I do not believe in this life affirming crap

Get a lemon up me if you want your back scratched

I'm okay, you're completely fucked

You want to get off the track

But the needle's stuck, stuck

Some say, and who are they

You were conceived in something less than the missionary position

They claim you came by way of fusion or exploratory frission

Dark seminal emissions

Like the hole that's never whole

Because parts of you are missing

I'll let you draw your own conclusions

From this agenda-driven vision

Some say, and who are they

You are the unfortunate byproduct of an unholy union

You seem shocked by the revelation

I think that you should sue them

Whoever they may be

I'm disgusted by the suggestion, thus I dispute it

But you, you, you do nothing to refute it

They say, and who are they

They are trustworthy intellectuals

Whose soul purpose is the pursuit of truthPaul McDermott - I Hate You - http://motolyrics.com/paul-mcdermott/i-hate-you-lyrics.html

They claim a visceral combination of wastage, bile and protoplasmic slop

Was left to brew overnight in a bucket with some drops of blood

A thickened potent sludge from the troubled genetic blueprint

Of a crazed psychotic and moronic private junkie

A lowlife a vile yet all-too-human bug

And each cycle Mother Nature tried to flush you out

But you hung on to life like a loser holds a louse

And you developed like a cancer

Growing exponential in her womb

A belly full of lice, a stench in an airless room

And all her inadequate precautions

All her potions and her poisons

Could not rid her of the grotesque foetal sac

The monster in her box

The monkey in her slacks

And you fermented with foetal scrapings from the morgue

The dismembered remains of those unclaimed

The children of the lost, the lonely, the offspring of the bored

This vile concoction bubbled and boiled

While virgn bedsheets, still unsoiled

Lay gentle unsuspecting

And in that brief elusive gap

Feeding on the vulval sac

This crass thing unrelenting

Within minutes took it's form

An hour later, you were born

It was a cosmic error of comic book proportions

Well of course you'd like the taste

Of excremental waste

You are what you eat and you can see it in your face

The doctor threw you to the pit bulls

They claimed you as their own

So between the pit bulls and the maggots. you'll always find a home

And if they'd known what you'd become

An abomination to the Lord

They would have garrotted your baby's neck

With your own umblical cord

The horror, the disgrace

Transformed your mother's face

So she decided there and then not to abide

She bade a fond farewell

Swalllowed a thousand sleeping pills

And after vomiting for an hour, gracefully died

As they dragged her to the hearse

They fumigated and they cursed

For they recalled that even she

Had requested not to be

Present at the hour of your birth

The doctor passed on some time later

Of shame, it is believed

And when the word was heard he delivered the turd

Not even his good wife grieved

They burned the surgery to the ground

Destroyed the utensils that had been so instumental

In bringing you into the open air

And from that day forth, you grew out of control

A vicious seething mole

That you survived while others died

It's a fucking crying shame

And if only the good die young

Well, you're gonna live forever

So my weary friend

The time has come to end

What I began so lovingly, so long ago

I'll keep the last words simple

And pray that you understand

For there's many more here who want to bend your ear

They've formed a queue

It's dedicated just to you

Permit me to finish by saying

It's been a pleasure, an unmitigated pleasure

To be so honest and so frank

And I'm sure I speak for everyone

So there's not only me to thank

And lastly, lastly, I was once taught a valuable lesson

If you're uncertain of the answer do not ask the question

I just hope you're happy now

And it's settled in your heart

Next time you ask if I like you

You'll know the answer from the start

Listen to the track again if you're confused

(And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid...)