What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkins Lost His Car Keys? Lyrics

Where the fuck are my car keys?
They were right here in my hand.

I had them just a second ago
Stephen Lynch - What If That Guy From Smashing Pumpkins Lost His Car Keys? - http://motolyrics.com/stephen-lynch/what-if-that-guy-from-smashing-pumpkins-lost-his-car-keys-lyrics.html
Did I leave them in the kitchen?
Or underneath the cushins of the couch?

I can't find them anywhere, anywh- Oh wait here they are.