Three Irish Tenors, The & Muppets, The Lyrics

The Three Irish Tenors & The Muppets

(Sound of the Three Tenors warming up)

Yon: (Kermit) Scooter! Scooter! Go and get the three tenors. They're on
in two minutes.
Scod: (Knocks on the door) Two minutes, Mr Pavarot... err... Mr Carr...
err... Mr. Tenors.

Yon: Scooter. Close the door. Here, here, sit on my lap. You furry
four-eyed munchkin. I cannot resist you!
Scod: Plácido! Not now!
Gatesy: You can't leave him in a room with a puppet for one second.
Scod: Ah, remember the Sesame Street incident.

Yon: (Scooter) I'll just tell Kermit you're ready.

(Kermit) It's the Muppet Show! And here now on stage, singing Ernie
the Sixteenth from Tosanini.
Scod: (Floyd) Hey Kermit
Yon: Yeah, Floyd?
Scod: We can't play this opera crap.
Yon: What can you do?
Scod: Well, all I've got is a Jewel song book.
Yon: Jewel... okay, then.

(They sing in the style of the three tenors)

Scod: I've never met a man like you before
Yon: You make me feel like a woman.
Gatesy: Oh, have you touched my long blonde hair
And read my poetry? The things you do to me.

Tripod: I'm a young, attractive blonde who sings country songs
Gatesy: To a lonesome country girl this city is tough.
Yon and Scod: It's all about the music, stop looking at my cleavage
Gatesy: Unlike Kasey Chambers, I am pretty enough, I am pretty enough.

Yon: (Floyd) Oh, Kermit, are we getting away with this?
Scod: (Kermit) Absolutely.

(Waldorf) Hey Statler, why are there three fat men pretending to be
a blonde woman?
Yon: (Statler) Err... 'cause they're fat?Thorgen - Three Irish Tenors, The & Muppets, The - http://motolyrics.com/thorgen/three-irish-tenors-the-and-muppets-the-lyrics.html
Yon and Scod: Ah ha ha ha ha!

Yon: Hey, you can't sing about being blonde! There's only one blonde
on this show - moi! Miss Piggy!
That's right, Miss Piggy!

Yon: I've never met a frog like you before
Scod: Ohhh... Piggy...
Yon: You make me feel like a pig/woman.
When you point your dual-resolution IEEE 1394 PC video camera at
me, it's ecstacy.

Gatesy: Piggy, get a nice shot of your cankles.
Yon: What?
Gatesy: You know, the fatty deposits between the foot and the calf.
Yon: WHAT?
Gatesy: You know, the wrinkly, bulbous, fatty, disgusting...
Yon: All right, that's it, opera boy!

HAI-YA!
Scod: Oh no, we've only got two tenors!
Yon: HAI-YA!
Scod: Oh, we've only got one left!
Yon: HAI-YA!
Scod: We're all out of tenors! We gotta find someone with extensive
experience working with puppets.

Yon and Scod: Come on, Gatesy...
Gatesy: No no no, it was a long time ago.
Yon and Scod: Come on, Gatesy!
Scod: Do it, mate.
Gatesy: No way, it was a long time ago!

Billabonga!

Gatesy: I'm a young magical swagman with a pet bunyip
If you've seen that show, it was a bit of a farce.
I was young, I was in love, I needed the money
When you're in the public eye, your past always bites you
on the arse...

Tripod: Bites you on the arse.

(Gatesy sighs loudly)...