Mathematics Professor Lyrics

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am
I'm a brilliant mathematician, or so something of a ham
I've tried for numerous degrees, in fact, I've one of each
Of course, that makes me eminently qualified to teach

I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it's true
And I can't see why it isn't all as obvious to you
Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned
Yet everyone tells me that I'm hard to understand
And I can't think why

My diagrams are models of true arduous degree
And my handwriting is famous for its legibility
Take a word like 'minimum,' to choose a random word
For anyone to say he cannot read that is absurd

The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every yearTom Lehrer - Mathematics Professor - http://motolyrics.com/tom-lehrer/mathematics-professor-lyrics.html
Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear
And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure
Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure
And I can't think why

For example
Take differentiation, it's as simple as can be
Like finding the derivative of tangent X, let's see
It's tangent squared, no, secant squared, no, it's just secant, I bet
The sign in front is plus, or is it minus? I forget
Well, it does have a derivative, of that there is no doubt
All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out
Yes, students tell I've memorized the whole term through
Everything you've taught us, but the problems I can't do
And I can't think why
He can't think why