Leather Clown Lyrics

Back in elementary school

Fourth grade, I think it was

I had this friend, Ethan

During lunch hour

We used to go to eighth street

For pizza and jelly donuts

Sometimes we got an orange Julius

Instead of a donut

Sometimes we got the donuts

But instead of eating them

We'd put them out on the street

And wait for cars to drive over them

But the most fun we ever had was

After eating

Sitting on a stoop

Exchanging sexual fantasies

Sometimes they involved

One of our classmates

Sometimes

It was a movie star

And sometimes

It was our teacher

Who we both suspected

Was sexually repressed

Sometimes I claimed

My stories were real

Like the story about the leather clown

She had short, spiky black hair

Small, but perfectly formed breasts

And was always kitted out
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In the same outfit

Leather skirt

Fishnet stockings

Floppy shoes

A big, red nose

A pair of leather wrist bracelets

With spikes

A big, red smile painted on

And a big, shiny horn

Which she would honk and honk during sex

Until she had an orgasm

Whenever the circus would come to town

I would tell Ethan all kinds of kinky

Clown-domination stories

Involving the leather clown

Like the time

She forced me to have sex with her

In the little car

Or the time

She kept spraying me

With the seltzer bottle

Until I obeyed her every command

Ethan and I

We laughed and laughed at these tall tales

But I could tell

Deep down

He was wondering

Whether the leather clown

Was really real or not

And I would let him wonder