Eye Candy Lyrics

Eye Candy

I was sitting in my armchair, watching my TV
Searching for something half-decent to see
I settled on a Blockbuster Action Movie
And in no time at all, the Hero was Me

I was using Strong Language, chasing Bad Guys
All Hell breaking loose, before my eyes
Explosions, Car Chases, and Fake Alibis
Butt naked babes with tattooed thighs.

I eye I eye
Eye Candy
Simulacra chimera
In loco parentis
I eye I eye
Eye Candy
Effluent a-plenty pour it on
Mass Media

At the Ambassador's Reception, I had to get away
So I hid behind a pyramid of Ferrero Roche
Only to find myself in Match of the Day
Scoring a last-minute goal against the run of play

But no sooner had the referee's whistle been blown
I was sucked into a Computer Graphic cyclone
And dumped on a sofa with a Cartoon Telephone
Telling me how easy it can be to get a loan.

I eye I eye
Eye candy
Soap Operas as frequent as
Whacky Co-Presenters
I eye I eye
Eye candy
Effluent a-plenty pour it on
Mass Media
Neil Innes - Eye Candy - http://motolyrics.com/neil-innes/eye-candy-lyrics.html
I was being zapped around from place to place
From World War 2 in Colour to Outer Space
Trying to save the Future of the Human Race
I was the one with the lumps on his face

I was a TV chef chopping up a courgette
I was an Emergency Animal Hospital Vet
With my hand up some fluffy Family Pet
I was trapped inside my own TV set

In a mixture of panic and darkest despair
I tapped on the glass to see if someone was there
I saw myself sitting in my own easy chair
I waved but all I got was an empty stare

I knew I was in trouble, my head was in a spin
My reality dissolving like an aspirin
I was a Dog Food full of Goodness and Multivitamins
I was the Toilet Bowl Germ with the wicked grin.

I eye I eye
Eye candy
Simulacra chimera
In loco parentis
I eye I eye
Eye candy
Effluent a-plenty pour it on
Mass Media

[all together now.]

I eye I eye
Eye candy
Simulacra chimera
In loco parentis
I eye I eye
Eye candy
Effluent a-plenty pour it on
Mass Media