It's been a while since we've seen Lindsay Lohan on a screen — big or small — when it wasn't connected to one of the troubled starlet's legal entanglements. But on Sunday night, after the 83rd annual Academy Awards ceremony, Lohan made her first TV appearance in ages in an infomercial spoof on the "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" show.
And she kind of nailed it. Lohan, who is still awaiting word on whether she'll face some jail time over the alleged theft of a $2,500 necklace, joined a jaw-dropping list of Hollywood beauties who helped Kimmel shill for a fake celebrity workout tape called "Hottie Body Humpilates."
"Here in Hollywood, being in shape is more important than being alive," Kimmel said during an introduction to his unique fitness regimen. After scanning past a bevy of toned female bodies, a voiceover asked, "Who trains the most beautiful actresses in the world?," The camera then falls on Kimmel, who responded, "I do, I'm Jimmy K. Let's get to work!"
That was followed by the unfortunate site of Kimmel's bare bottom in a thong unitard and a series of fake talk-show appearances by the celebrity workout king. Scarlett Johansson, wearing a "HoBo" T-shirt, then sauntered out while looking directly at the camera longingly and embracing Kimmel, staring into his eyes with love as he explained the wonders of his hip-thrusting, exercise-ball-humping method.
Lohan showed up near the end of the clip to help Kimmel sell some DVDs. Standing next to a rare yellow lion named Zion, which Kimmel claimed could take down an animal 10 times his size, the host asked, "So how does he find time to stay in such great shape?"
"Not with weights or diet drinks, I'll tell you that," chimed in a smiling Lohan. "Lions spend their days hunting and their nights humping," she continued, as she holds Kimmel's hand and walks around the ferocious beast.
"Lions hump upwards of 40 times a night. I've spent thousands of hours watching them, so I know," Lohan added while giving Jimmy a longing, knowing look, followed by a kiss on his hand.
"The Jimmy K program is so affordable, it's practically a steal," Kimmel said at the end of the bit. "Allegedly," Lohan piped in comically, crossing her arms and giving Jimmy a withering look.
Lohan was just one of the famous beauties who appeared in the segment. ScaroJo's testimonial was followed by similarly gushing tributes from Minka Kelly (who apparently used to be a big, big fattie), Jessica Biel (who only hopes to be in good enough shape to lure Kimmel into wanting to bed her), Kelly Ripa and Jessica Alba (who was apparently sluggish and out of shape and cried a lot before becoming a "HoBo").
The segment showed the ladies all demonstrating Kimmel's ball-humping method during a class, as he urged them on while wearing a revealing red leotard and purple Speedo bikini.
"That's good humping, girls ... hump it up, hump it down, take a train to humpy town!" he said. Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara and Emily Blunt also stopped by to sing the praises of "humpercize." And we think Vergara (apparently a disgusting hippopotamus before starting "HoBo") had good things to say about the method, but it was kind of hard to tell with that accent and all.
Lohan is due back in court on March 10 and the judge in her case has instructed attorneys on both sides to meet and discuss the possibility of accepting the plea in the meantime.
What did you think of Kimmel's over-the-top infomercial? Let us know in the comments.