Toni Braxton: Abortion isn't embarrassing

Toni Braxton isn't embarrassed about having an abortion.

The 46-year-old singer is mother to two young boys with her ex-husband Keri Lewis.

And the star confesses during bankruptcy proceedings years ago she had a pregnancy terminated.

"I never thought I would have to do that," she told ET Online.

"I felt selfish because I was thinking, I'm going through bankruptcy -- there's things going on with my life and I can't give this kid any future. I was feeling hopeless for no reason, when I look at it now for no reason, what was I thinking?

"I am not really embarrassed about it, I am more ashamed of myself for doing that because I could've figured something out financially -- that was just an excuse I was making for myself."

Toni filed for bankruptcy twice, once in 1998 and then again in 2010.

Once she stopped attributing her choice to abort to financial woes, the songstress admits her mind discovered other ways to generate guilt.

Toni even managed to convince herself her son Diezel's autism was some type of karmic retribution.

"I thought [my son's condition] was because of the abortion, God was punishing me. And it took a long time for me to get past that," she said.

Toni claims she still deals with the psychological impact of her decision.

"I often tell myself I have three kids. I have two boys, but I often have to tell myself I have two kids. But in my head I feel like I have three kids," she explained.