Dear Amtrak Lyrics

My wife and I were planning a romantic spring vacation

I must admit the concept came from my own instigation

Knowing that my honey was afraid to take a plane

I said "Let's go to Portland on the Coastal Starlight Train"

We drove to San Francisco, took the bus to Emeryville

Caught the train to Sacramento, that's where everything stood still...

At two a.m. they woke us up to say we'd all be bussing

We tried to get some sleep amid the crying and the cussing

The bus rolled into Klamath Falls at 8:15 a.m.

And a mere two hours later we was down the track again

Dear Amtrak - I want my money back

If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again

Your railroad is the shits - they got better service on the way to Auschwitz

Oh yeah; oh yeah

The conductor was the biggest jerk I'd met in all my life

The waitresses were meaner than my nastiest ex-wife

The glossy brochure told us that the food was fresh and hardy
Gaither Drake - Dear Amtrak - http://motolyrics.com/gaither-drake/dear-amtrak-lyrics.html
But it tasted just like leftovers from the Donner Party

The mattresses were paper thin, the bed just two feet deep

But it doesn't really matter 'cuz they never let you sleep

Dear Amtrak - I want my money back

If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again

And now you done closed the bar, I coulda got better service on a cattle car

Oh yeah; oh yeah

On the way back home from Portland the engine suddenly stopped

Like a scene from a Wes Craven film right before they all get chopped

The power died, the lights went off and everything went black

By that time I was certain we was never getting back

A voice came on the speaker just to tell us what's the scoop

You can't eat and you can't drink and you can't pee and you can't poop

Dear Amtrak - I want my money back

I must've been quite insane, to think about riding on a railroad train

If you know what's good for you, just stay home and have yourself a BBQ

Oh yeah; oh yeah