Everyone's A Tosser Lyrics

SCOD

Everyone's a tosser

Everyone's a fool

Don't ever feel like you don't fit

'Cause Gatesy, everyone's a tool

YON

The louder that you say you're not

The more that it's the case

SCOD AND YON

Just like everybody else...

SCOD

... you're a real knob-face

GATESY

(Spoken) I'm a knob-face!

SCOD

Take our little Yonny

He's a total mong

YON

If you think that I look interesting

I'm sorry, you'd be wrong

GATESY

What about old Scoddy?

YON

You could write a book on him!

SCOD

You could call it "Knobby the Knobstickle"

GATESY

"And His Knobtastic Voyage"!

Everybody's a tosser

Everyone's a schmo

From Robert Louis Stevenson
Tripod - Everyone's A Tosser - http://motolyrics.com/tripod/everyones-a-tosser-lyrics.html
ALL

To Edgar Allen Poe

We're all bloody cockpanks!

The experts all agree

SCOD

The experts, they're all tossers too

GATESY

Just like you and me

ALL

(To audience member) Madam, you're a knob-end

It's there for all to see

YON

Don't try to deny it

Do you think you're better than me?

ALL

The louder that you say you're not

The louder that you are

GATESY

You're a bonehead!

YON

You're a franger!

SCOD

You're a spazmo!

GATESY

You're a shwanger!

ALL

You're a tosser! It's a fact you can't ignore

GATESY

'Cause everyone's a tosser!

YON AND SCOD

(To Gatesy) But you, slightly more