The Hot Dog Man Lyrics

The hot dog man is packing up

He's putting all his sauces away

Scrapes the onion grease into a cup

To use again another day

Other hot dog men might re-use their cheese

But never this hot dog man

He whistles a tune and bobs his head

While sweeping out the floor of his van

The hot dog man once tried a line

In gelati and soft-serve treats

But they didn't last long in the bain-marie

In amongst the steaming meats

The sauce bottle nozzles clog up every day

He always is surprised by how much

A friend once suggested the sachets

But he prefers the personal touch

The hot dog man...

The hot dog man...

[Gatesy, spoken: How beautiful is the hot dog man? Don't you love him? He just knows what life's about. It's the simple things, that's the lesson.]

(The hot dog man...)

The hot dog man attends the normal events

Such as concerts and football games

(The hot dog man...)

Has his regulars at the stadium,

He takes the time to learn all their names

(The hot dog man...)

Whilst he knows it's a professional relationship

He always asks about their lives

(The hot dog man...)

Says, "How are the kids? Is your Mum still well?

Hey, tell me when the baby arrives."

[Gatesy: Awww! ]

The hot dog man maintains his van

He works on it meticulously

He'd have it done by a mechanic,

But who would take as much care as he?

The hot dog man drops his daughter off

At ballet practice three times a week

He jokingly asks, "Am I a taxi?"

She laughs and smiles and kisses his cheek

The hot dog man...

[Gatesy: You gotta love the hot dog man, don't ya? Oh, he's just beautiful, I love him.]

The hot dog man...

[Gatesy: I could sing about him all night. In fact, let's do that, yeah! ]

The hot dog man earns a modest amount

His overheads are more than you'd think

When you add up the cost of his hobby

Plus the wholesale price of the drinks

[Gatesy: What's with "hobby", Yon?]

The hot dog man has certain needs

Not all of which his wife can fulfil

He also has his favourite TV shows

The one he likes the most is "The Bill"

[Gatesy: They're not the lyrics, can we...]

(The hot dog man...)

The hot dog man knows his hardware

Has certain brands he tends to prefer

(The hot dog man...)
Tripod - The Hot Dog Man - http://motolyrics.com/tripod/the-hot-dog-man-lyrics.html
He's been fitting out his cellar

But he's not at all the wine connoisseur

(The hot dog man...)

Scod: The hot dog man drives his hot dog van

In circuits 'round the local reserve

(The hot dog man...)

Scod: He drives slowly, but not too slowly

And casual, so as not to unnerve

[Gatesy: I don't like the hot dog man any more! ]

The hot dog man...

[Gatesy: The hot dog man's a bad hot dog man, isn't he, guys? Guys?]

The hot dog man...

[Gatesy: What the fuck is going on! ]

The hot dog man has a coolroom

With independent power supply

Has a table on wheels and a light source

He performs his operations by

[Gatesy: OPERATIONS! ]

The hot dog man's identity

Changes every now and again

For a time, he was a woman

Or at least he wore a woman's skin

[Gatesy: NOOOOOOOOO! ]

If you listen hard in the dead of night

Is that a scratching sound you can hear?

[Gatesy: I DON'T LIKE THIS! ]

We use the word "evil" so liberally...

[Gatesy: STOP... STOP THE FUCKING SONG! Stop... just stop it.

Scod: What?

Gatesy: What are you doing to the hot dog...

Scod: What?

Gatesy: What have you done to him?

Scod: What do you mean, "done to him"?

Gatesy: You've...

Scod: There's a whole range of factors, it wasn't just us.

Gatesy: No!

Yon: Yeah!

Gatesy: No!

Yon: I mean, you know, it's a whole "nature versus nurture" issue, really.

Scod: It is!

Gatesy: It's just... no!

Scod: He might have parental problems, who knows? Maybe he's just evil. We just don't know.

Gatesy: He doesn't! He doesn't have to be evil, though!

Scod: What are you talking about?

Gatesy: No, he doesn't. Why can't... here's an idea... ooh, Gatesy! Why don't we... why don't we make the hot dog man a nice hot dog man again, eh?

Yon: All right.

Gatesy: You know, remember? Aha! Remember...]

The hot dog man is packing up

He's... twisting all the ties on the bun bags

Umm... puts the ice bucket back in the freezer

... where he also keeps the human heads.

[Gatesy: NOOOOOO!

Yon: I like that!

Gatesy: Ohhhh...

Scod: Come on... he's a multi-dimensional character, that's all.

Yon: Come on, Gatesy - don't you think we're all the hot dog man deep down inside?

Gatesy: Noooo...

Scod: It's about the complexity of human relationships... and knives.]