Rehab Lyrics

We did it all

We did it all

We did whatever we could

Get our hands on back in the seventies

We did fucking handfuls of mushrooms, pills, ludes, coke

Whatever it was, we just fucking swallowed it, okay?

That's what we did, people go

"Well why didn't you go into rehab?"

We didn't have rehab back in the seventies

Back in the seventies rehab meant you'd stop doing coke

But you kept smoking pot and drinking

For a couple more weeks, you know?

"Yeah, give me a case of Budweiser and an ounce

I gotta slow down, Jesus Christ, I'm outta control

Look at the size of my pants, for Christ's sake

Because that's the big thing now

Rehab is the big fucking secret now, isn't it, huh? yeah

You can do whatever you want

Just go into rehab and solve your problems

Isn't that the big celebrity thing?

That's what I'm gonna do

Yeah, I'm gonna get famous

Then when my career starts to flag

I'm gonna go into three months fucking bender, okay?

Coke, and fucking pot, and smack, and fucking booze

And drive over people, and beat up my kids

Go into therapy, go into rehab, come outta rehab

Be on the cover of People Magazine

"Sorry! I fucked up!", That's what they do, man

They go into rehab and they come out

And they blame everybody except themselves

They blame their parents, right? That's the way

Everybody comes from a dysfunctional family

All of the sudden, huh?

Rosanne Barr comes from a dysfunctional family?

Not Rosanne, she seems so normal to me

The Jacksons were dysfunctional?

Not the Jacksons

These people give each other new heads

For Christmas for Christ's sake

I am sick and tired of hearing

That fucking speech, you know?

These people come out of rehab

They always have the same story

"Well you know, I became an alcoholic

Because my parents didn't love me enough

And then I became a junkie

Because my parents didn't love me enough

And I went into hypnosis and therapy

And I found out that parents used to hit me

"Hey! My parents used to beat the living shit out of me, okay?

And looking back on it, I'm glad they did

And I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids, aren't you"?

For no reason whatsoever

"What'd you hit me for?"

"Shutup and get out there and mow the lawn for Christ's sake"

There's therapy for ya

Mowing the lawn and crying at the same time

"The Leary kids in therapy again
Dennis Leary - Rehab - http://motolyrics.com/dennis-leary/rehab-lyrics.html
Their lawn looks great, it's unbelieveable"

God, "I'm just not happy, I'm just not happy"

I'm just not happy because

My life didn't turn out the way

I thought it would

"Hey! Join the fucking club, okay"

I thought I was going to be

The starting center fielder for

The Boston Red Socks

Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, allright?

"I'm not happy, I'm not happy"

Nobody's happy, okay?

Happiness comes in small doses folks

It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm

That's it, okay! You cum, you eat the cookie

You smoke the butt, you go to sleep

You get up in the morning and go to fucking work, okay?

That is it, end of fucking list

"I'm just not happy"

Shut the fuck up, allright?

That's the name of my new book

"Shut the Fuck Up, by Doctor Denis Leary

A revolutionary new form of therapy"

I'm gonna have my patients come in. "Doctor, I"

"Shut the fuck up, next"

"I don't feel so"

"Shut the fuck up, next"

"He made me feel so much better about myself, you know?

He just told me to shut the fuck up

And nobody had ever told me that before

I feel so much better now"

Whining fucking maggots

And all these people quitting

I think it's a good thing, AA

And the recovery and rehab

Because I've got some friends who'd be dead

Without those programs, but you know something

Now we've got a new problem

Because now they quit drinking and drugs

They're completely stressed out

And they decide to work out, which is fine

I'm not a workout guy, but I understood Nautilus

It made sense, there were arm machines and leg machines

But have you seen these people

Who are using the stair-master?

Have we turned into gerbils ladies and gentlemen?

People are paying money to go into a health club

And walk up invisible steps

Over and over again for an hour and a half

"Where are you going?" "I'm going up and I paid for it too

I can stay here as long as I want"

Folks, you wanna go up and down stairs

Move into a fifth floor walk up on the lower east side, okay?

What's next? A fucking chair master?

"I sit down. I get up, I sit down

I get up, I sit dow, I get up"

The door master

"I open the door, I close"

What the fuck?