Can I Interest You In Hannukah? Lyrics

Jon: Can I interest you in Hannukah?

Maybe something in a Festival of Lights

It's a sensible alternative to Christmas

And it lasts for seven -for you - eight nights.

Stephen: Hanukkah huh? I've never really thought about it.

Jon: Well, you could do worse.

Stephen: Is it merry?

Jon: It's kind of merry

Stephen: Is it cheery?

Jon: It's got some cheer

Stephen: Is it jolly?

Jon: Look, I wouldn't know from jolly.

But it's not my least unfavorite time of year.

Stephen: When's it start?

Jon: The 25th

Stephen: Of December?

Jon: Kislev

Stephen: When is when exactly?

Jon: I will check

Stephen: Are there presents?

Jon: Yes, indeed 8 days of presents

Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck.

Stephen: Does Hanukkah commemorate events profound and holy? A king who came to save the world?

Jon: No, oil that burned quite slowlyStephen Colbert - Can I Interest You In Hannukah? - http://motolyrics.com/stephen-colbert/can-i-interest-you-in-hannukah-lyrics.html

Stephen: Well, it sounds fantastic!

Jon: There's more

Jon: We have latkes

Stephen: What are they?

Jon: Potato pancakes. We have dreidels

Stephen: What are they?

Jon: Wooden tops. We have candles

Stephen: What are they?

Jon: THEY ARE CANDLES!

And when we light them, oh the fun it never stops.

What do you say, Stephen, do you want to give Hanukkah a try?

Stephen: I'm trying see me as a Jew

I'm trying even harder

But I believe in Jesus Christ

So it's a real non-starter

Jon: I can't interest you in Hanukkah? Just a little bit?

Stephen: No thanks I'll pass. I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potato pancakes. But I hope that you enjoy 'em on behalf of all of the goyim.

Jon: Be sure to tell the Pontiff, my people say Good Yontif.

Stephen: That's exactly what I'll do

Both: Happy holidays, you

Jon: too!

Stephen: Jew!

Jon: Too?