Driving Lyrics

Sometimes when I'm driving with my lady

We'll see someone and say "Maybe

We should run that person over."

We're just joking, actually

We simply find it funny

The absurdity of running

A complete and utter stranger off the road

But just say maybe

I was driving with my lady

And we made our normal joke

But then by sheer coincidence

My steering spindle broke

And we careered into the guy

And killed him instantly

And when the police arrived

And asked us to describe

The scene inside the vehicle just before the crash

Would we tell him 'bout the joke?

Would he understand

Our post-modern sense of humour?

Would the accident look planned?

Would we tell him 'bout the joke?

I doubt it

And sometimes when I'm dining with my lady

And we have an Asian waitress

I'll say something pretty racist

Like, "Should we go somewhere else?"

The implication being

I'm uncomfortable with seeing

Asian people, which of course is not the truth

But just say maybe

I was dining with my lady

And dropped my knife upon the floor

But didn't see the Asian waitress from before

Was coming over to assist

While I was fumbling on the ground

And being slightly pissed

I flung my arms up when I found the knife
Sammy J - Driving - http://motolyrics.com/sammy-j/driving-lyrics.html
And stabbed her accidentally in the face?

Would I tell the judge about the joke?

Would he understand

That the joke was unrelated

And I'm not a racist man?

Would I tell him 'bout the joke?

I doubt it

And sometimes when I'm waiting with my lady

At the airport for a plane

She'll say something quite insane

Like she's got cocaine up her ass

Of course her ass is empty

It just helps to pass the time

While we're standing in the line

But just say maybe

She went to the bathroom

And whilst applying perfume

Was set upon by drug mules

Who forced her into putting

Several condoms of cocaine into her bum

And when they left her

She went straight to the police

Who came and found me and asked me

If I knew about the drugs?

Well, I'd have to tell them 'bout the joke

Honesty is best

She said she had narcotics on her

Well, I never would have guessed

You think you know someone and then

The bitch turns out to be a fraud

Of course I'm just joking

But please don't tell my lady 'bout that joke

She wouldn't understand

She gets upset when I discuss her in my songs

And do you think that she'd forgive

This breach of trust on one occasion

If she saw you laughing at our jokes?

I doubt it