Hedgehog Lyrics

Jill was a girl, Jack was a guy

One day they caught each other's eye

And they went steady for two years

They'd spend their summers by the sea

And they were happy and carefree

And for the future had no fears

But Jack had a little secret

He'd been keeping to himself very deep inside his soul

He was ashamed, he was embarrassed

Didn't want to jeopardise the loved they shared, oh not at all

Jack was... a hedgehog

Nobody knew

He was a filthy little creature

But with one redeeming feature

He was quite good at impersonating a human

Well, Jack decided to tell Jill

But he did not know how she'd feel

So he made a hedgehog slice

She said, "Jack, thank you for the food

And I don't want to sound too rude,

I don't think hedgehogs are nice."

Then Jack was gutted and a tear rolled down his cheek

And Jill said, "Jack, I was joking. I love this chocolate treat.

It's just the animal hedgehogs that I despise."

And it was quite sad because she still had no idea that Jack was a hedgehog

Yes, she had no idea

But he couldn't stand the shame

And he had to clear his name

So he organised to meet Jill down on Southbank

And he said, "Jill, I wanna tell you..."

She said, "Shh, I wanna smell you."

He said, "Not the best idea."

And he said, "Jill, I am a hedgehog."

And she said, "Haha, silly. Well, give me a hedge-hug."

And they held each other near

(Spoken)

But as they were hugging each other, Jill cut her hand up on one of the spikes on his back. And she said, "Jack, what the fuck is this? You have spikes on your back! And he tore away his trench coat, and he pulled off his little mask and his snout popped out and she said, "Are you- you actually are a hedgehog!" "Yes, I was trying to tell you, babe. I've been trying to tell you for a week." "Four years, Jack, you've been keeping this from me! Four years, you little crazy fuck! What were you doing? What were you thinking!" And she picked Jack up, and she kicked him high into the air!

(Sung)Sammy J - Hedgehog - http://motolyrics.com/sammy-j/hedgehog-lyrics.html

Jack went flying through the air

Like a big ball of hedgehog

And all the while, he was singing:

"Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

You have been the one..."

(Spoken)

And after he'd done singing James Blunt's entire extended repertoire, two albums to date, he came to rest through the open window of a yellow taxi cab in Frankston.

(Sung)

Hedgehog in a taxi, will he pay the fare?

Hedgehog in a taxi, does the driver even know that he's there?

The driver did know he was there

And they charged Jack the fare

But Jack disagreed with the two dollar fifty flagfall

Hedgehog in a taxi, getting fiscal

Didn't like the driver, pulled a pistol

Out shot the driver, couldn't revive her

You all thought that she was a man but she was a woman, you are sexist

Hedgehog in a taxi, hedgehog on the run

There are twenty cops behind him but they know he's got a gun

So he's gotta keep on going, petrol flowing

But now he's been surrounded and he's slowing down

He's in an alleyway

The cops are are and they

Are just about to shoot

(Spoken)

And then Jill came running in through the alleyway. She said, "Stop! Don't shoot the little prick! Can't you see he's not man! He's just a hedgehog!" But as she was playing the grand piano she'd wheeled into the alleyway for dramatic effect, the policemen riddled Jack's little body with bullets and then started playing soccer with his corpse. Final scores were Victoria Police 3, Jack's corpse nil. Some say it was an unfair match. And all the while, Jill kept on playing.

(Sung)

In conclusion, it has been seen

Don't pretend to be a human

In conclusion, it has been seen

Some people who say they are a human might not actually be a human

In conclusion, it has been seen

Many of us are still heavily instructed by a dominant social paradigm that suggest taxi driving is not an occupation for females

There might be a hedgehog in this room

There might be a hedgehog in this room

There might be a hedgehog in this room

Ow! Prickly.